Fragment (found inside my mother)
By Nick Flynn
I kept it hidden, it was easy
to hide, behind my lingerie, a shoebox
above my boys’ reach, swaddled alongside
my painkillers
in their childproof orange cups. I knew my kids,
curious, monkeys,
but did they know me? It was easy
to hide, it waited, the hard O of its mouth
made of waiting, each bullet
& its soft hood of lead. Braced
solid against my thigh, I’d feed it
with my free hand, my robe open
as if nursing, practicing
my hour of lead, my letting go. The youngest
surprised me with a game,
held out his loose fists, begging
guess which hand, but both
were empty. Who taught him that?
•This poem is a piece that displays the relationship between a mother and her sons. Nick Flynn, whose mother shot herself when he was around ten years old, describes a narrative, in which the mother is the narrator, that emphasizes the differing perspectives of the young and old. Flynn uses metaphors, such as when he describes the boys as “curious, monkeys” to describe the different worlds and expectations of adulthood and childhood. The poem evokes a feeling of an estranged relationship between mother and child, a feeling that is noticed when the boy has nothing to show in either of his hands. This symbolic portrayal highlights the poem’s aura of hopelessness.
